Retro Role Cast
"Serious roleplaying games played by deeply unserious people."
We are a tabletop roleplaying actual play podcast featuring games that remind us of our gaming roots! We play in person with real math rocks! We love gritty, high action dark settings with nuance, but aren't too far away from our bitter, cynical, yet still lovable selves at all times!
Currently: Going way back to many of our players' 1e roots by playing the new third edition of OSRIC (pdf available free on DrivethruRPG, fantastic hard copies available through Mythmere Games) with a home cooked mini (?) campaign in the World known as Greyhawk in the classic era. follow along as the PCs navigate the dangerous environments and tricky politics of the Duchy of Tenh/Theocracy of the Pale border region!
In season one we played Low Fantasy Gaming by Pickpocket Press, Its sequel game Tales of Argosa is released, available, and comes highly recommended by all of us, stop by Pickpocket Games on the web for more info!
Season two saw a transition to a modified Version of Old School Essentials (Advanced) by Gavin Norman, one of many retro offshoots of the world's most popular role playing game. We borrow rules and content from many sources, but with Old School Essentials we used (in no particular order), Old School Feats by Eric Diaz, Into The Wyrd and Wild by Charles Furgeson-Avery, Into the Wild by Todd Leback, The Axian Library by Guiseppe Rotondo, and the Monster Overhaul by Skerples, amongst other sources.
With the close of Season 2 and the addition of two new Retro Role Casters we have moved to a more episodic format for Season 3. We are referring to seasons 1 and 2 as our Zero Level Funnel of Podcasting.
Season three and into the first part of Season four the four OG hosts took turns GM-ing one shots, Three Shadowdark adventures because we love Kelsey's fantastic Old meets New game, Mothership to satisfy our love of the Alien Movies and a Halloween special using the Call of Cthulhu rules.
Logo Art: Olivia G, Background Art: Bob Greyvenstein. Some artwork © Grim Press, used with permission. All rights reserved.
Retro Role Cast
Shadowdark! The Well of Shune Ep. 3
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A the howling north winds dump snow upon the mountain pass, the beleaguered caravan is beset by dangers from claw and from the mountain itself. tensions continue to rise...
#ad&d #Shadowdark #OSR #ttrpg #actualplay #rpg #Dnd #oldschoolrpg
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No pressure, you don't have to think of it now. We're just buying time for Sean to do what he should have done, maybe, I don't know, in the last two weeks. No, it's all done. It's here. The problem is my laptop's fucking up. It's just like, have you tried turning it off and turning it back on? I have. Sean, what are you actually I think it's my devil?
SPEAKER_01Just um what what do you do for a living?
SPEAKER_00You know? Did it include the mechanic?
SPEAKER_02Ever meet a mechanic. You know, you meet a mechanic. Absolutely. Oh, you fix these really expensive cool cars all day. And he gets into his 25-year-old shipbox and he drives home. He doesn't want to have to work on his own car. Right. He doesn't want to work on his own car after spending all day doing it. The sun is setting, the temperature is dropping, and the caravan is settling in to try to stay warm. Far overhead, birds circle. How big are those birds? They look mighty big from here. You can see in the distance the kind of snow plains stretching across the peaks. There are small herds of animals moving, maybe goats. They have a single horn on their nose. Kind of odd. Kind of shaggy. Rhino goats. They might be rhinos, they might be goats. They're maybe a mixture of both. Rhino goats. Rhinos. But it's clear that those birds seem to be hunting those animals. So as the sun sets, we join our cast of characters. Let's go around the table and just give a quick intro so we all remember who we are. Starting with John, just give us your name, who you are, and what you're doing as the caravan settles in.
SPEAKER_03I am Cyril, the halfling wizard. And I think I was being forced to do a watch, so I was circling underneath all the wagons, peering outward.
SPEAKER_02I'm just running underneath the wagons. Walking a path underneath all of the wagons and horses and stuff. Yes. Okay. Alright. And Eric?
SPEAKER_04Glenn, the human priest, is tired. And he's just gonna sack out by the fire.
SPEAKER_02Priest of what deity? Gade. Oh, that's right. So I vote that the next adventure, he has to play something else.
SPEAKER_01He has to play something else other than a You can't do that. On the other hand, he pretty much kept you guys alive from the first Shadow Dark play. Playing the exact same character that he rolled up again this year.
SPEAKER_02It remains to be seen if that will be required here. I now realize the dual irony of his healthcare hero shirt. You think I rolled up another character?
SPEAKER_01He plays a cleric. That is true. Out there, he is wearing a shirt that says healthcare hero. Yep.
SPEAKER_04And I think it's funny that you thought I rolled up another character. So anyway.
SPEAKER_01And the next around the table we have Sean. Thrall has found in the 75 years of his young dwarf life that if it is cold, you just drink more mead.
SPEAKER_02Fair enough.
SPEAKER_01So I'm that that's what I'm doing. I'm possibly singing some mining songs. Right? Oh, wait, diggity hole. Diggity. I think he's singing 16 tons. And what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. That.
SPEAKER_02I don't know, but I've been told. Oh my soul to the company stole. All right.
SPEAKER_01Very nice. See, now that's playing on all your heads.
SPEAKER_04Yep, forever.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_02Earworm too long. Okay. And next around the table we have Rodney. Alright, I am playing Drek the Human Thief. In the early part of the evening, Drek will scout down the direction we haven't been just a bit. Get uh eyes on what is out there close to our camp and the further down the pass. Avoiding going out in the open where these giant birds are hunting goats so that they don't think that Drek is a better and easier prey. So you are scouting the area in the pass down specifically. Down the pass a little further, a couple hundred yards, make sure there's no tracks in the snow of anything bald, vicious, or aggressive. Alright, we'll go into that once we finish intros. Get into that. And Doc. I'm playing Tom Yar Bornson. I am very hungry, so I am cruising around looking for some food in the camp. Very hungry. Yes. I am a seawolf, aka a Viking in this setting. And a very large man.
SPEAKER_04Looking for moose jerky.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Where is that moose at? It's probably not jerky yet. And now it's frozen. No. Yeah. Moose sickle. Well, we will cook that moose. Funny you should mention that, but that's exactly what they're doing to get ready for dinner.
SPEAKER_01I believe the last episode ended with a fairly in-depth, small discussion about what was going in the moose stew this evening.
SPEAKER_02Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really? So carrots, onions, man, that's podcast bold. Turnips, that sort of thing. Yeah. So I thought we should go over that again. Parsley. I'm not sure we need to do that.
SPEAKER_02In the mountains here, you can totally find some sage.
SPEAKER_01Right. Yep, that was mentioned as well. Oh, right.
SPEAKER_02Parsley. Maybe some spearmint time. Rosemary. Delicious and shadow dark. We should make a cookbook. Right? Well, that's very popular now. I'll bet you Critical Role has a cookbook. Yes. Have you not watched Delicious in Dungeon? No, I'm not an anime guy.
SPEAKER_01It's good. Wizards of the Coast have two for D D.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. At least. Well, they have two editions they've made too, and those are both garbage.
SPEAKER_01And there's the Necron for HP Lovecraft non-flavored meals. No caravan.
SPEAKER_02There's no pictures in their right mind would want HP Lovecraft Craft flavored meals. I mean Seafood is delicious. Yes. Yep. No doubt Glenn will make a great meal tonight for us all to chow on that we don't have to go into detail in.
SPEAKER_01Who who doesn't love calamari?
unknownOh, calamari.
SPEAKER_01I'm just thinking.
SPEAKER_02I'm not a fan.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. That's because he was a squid once. Alright, but you're the exception that proves the rule. Yes. Calamari is just a little uh little chewy. It can be.
SPEAKER_02Not if you fry it enough.
SPEAKER_04Not if it's live.
SPEAKER_02Again, never happened. Okay. So we have Cyril the Halfling walking a path underneath the wagons and horses. We have Drek scouting ahead. So you're on first watch. It's not really it's technically still first watch, so but everybody's still up and around in the camp making dinner. So how long do you plan to scout Drek? I plan to go approximately two to three hundred yards out. Not I'm not gonna go too too far because I gotta make it back before it gets totally dark. Okay. What so you said you're looking for tracks? Yep, just a track sign, whatever. We got snow last night, so you know that most things would probably be obscured. Unless they happened during today. Right. So that's what I'm looking for. If you search around, there's wildlife tracks, obviously, wolves, moose, another hoofed animal of some sort. They're also very large, almost circular tracks. Probably a four-legged animal might be one of the things you see up on that slope. Oh coming through here. Sure. Give me a what is tracking? I believe that's a wisdom check. I don't know. I don't have tracking as a skill. It's not a skill, but I think you use wisdom or intelligence for that. I rolled a 19. That's pretty good. That is pretty good. So you're walking along, just checking things out, and you catch sight of some tracks kind of off to the side of the pass near the actual slope where these large round quadrupedal tracks stop, and there appear to be what can only be described as humanoid tracks, large humanoid feet, five toes, probably some fur, just like almost as if they were riding the four-legged thing, got off, did something with like a saddle, and got back on. And then the quadrupedal tracks disappear up the slope. That seems like valuable information. I should return to camp before I am done in by whatever made those tracks. It is starting to get pretty dark. You should probably hurry back. I just said that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because the waning crescent moon doesn't come up for another four hours. Oh my god. Do not here we go again.
SPEAKER_02You know that I've been observing the moon all week, and I am totally correct in my moon assessment. No one had any doubt. Right.
SPEAKER_01I had forgotten about the whole discussion until I entered the episode.
SPEAKER_02No one has questioned your moon knowledge.
SPEAKER_01We're on 100% backward or 180 degrees.
SPEAKER_02I only am familiar with one sort of moon, and it has nothing to do with that. All right. Well, I'm back. I'm going back to camp. Moose travels. So you're heading back to camp. Anybody else in camp doing anything in particular? Overseeing cooking. Alright, you're helping with cooking. I'm overseeing. He's watching you cook.
SPEAKER_01Directing. And I am I am a responsible dwarf, and I realize that the campsite this evening has some more tactical disadvantages than the previous campsites do.
SPEAKER_02Definitely.
SPEAKER_01And because I am a responsible dwarf, I'm only going to drink for four hours before my watch.
SPEAKER_03Two of the Are you on first watch now? They moved you because you kept getting drunk on your watch. Oh, well, then I can just drink during my watch.
SPEAKER_01You are on the last watch, aren't you?
SPEAKER_03No, he was on first watch, and then he can get drunk the rest of the time.
SPEAKER_01I was on mid-watch, and apparently that can't happen again. Yeah, we're going to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02The problem was he didn't wake up the next person.
SPEAKER_01Correct. So we would put him at the end. Like this whole thing has mirrors towards the uh the first campaign we did. I think I was sticking it. A lot of mirrors.
SPEAKER_02I wonder why. He's revenge by the GM. No, that isn't that is not a motivation at the moment.
SPEAKER_01But anyway, I am uh I'm getting warm and toasty on the inside. From the inside out. Exactly. Where are you doing this? Uh in the center of the camp by the campfire.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So as the sun sets, you see Drek amble back into camp. Skulk, I skulk back into camp. Skulking specifically. Skulk back into camp. Excuse me. I only skulk. And the moose stew is ready, so they start passing out dinner. Can't wait. At dinner I tell everybody about the wind is very strong in this little cleft. Yes, I hear it. About the strange tracks that I saw. Well, go ahead. I do. I tell them about all the things that you said. This is a role-playing game. The point is to No, but see, it's really tough because you already they heard everything you said. We don't need a double description.
SPEAKER_01And I will listen to his description, and I have a one-pointed question, which is could you actually see the toes of the humanoid creature in this in the tracks?
SPEAKER_02That is how I saw it, because that is how it was described to me.
SPEAKER_01So they're not booted feet, then.
SPEAKER_02They were not booted feet. I noted that. Yes, it was totally noted. So my theory is that it's abominable snowmen, yetis or some other furry creature, big feet. Sometimes they're referred to in the lowlands. What kind of creature would they ride? Big feet isn't real. Well, we don't know he's not real, but I saw some big tracks out there. But I think they were riding some other kind of four-legged creature with a rounded hoof. Like a rounded, very large. Right. And by rounded hoof, it's really strange because goats would have cleft feet. Right. Right. Horse. Like a horse would have even like really a horse does have a cleft. A round saddle wouldn't be able to get around the mountains very well. Yeah, super weird, right? Yeah. But what do I know about the mountains? I'm a city boy. I'm lucky I didn't get lost out there in the snow. Miro!
SPEAKER_01He only knows about taking stuff and moons. And moons.
SPEAKER_02He does know he knows his moons.
SPEAKER_01New moon is best time to wait.
SPEAKER_02He's a moon.
SPEAKER_01Oh, and it'll be here in just a couple of days. The moon is according right now.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I don't know where waxing is going to be. Yes, new moon, yes. Not the time to go through the pass. It'll be darkest then. Waxing is heading towards full.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know, but it's I thought you said it was waning. Yeah, you said it was a waning crescent. Right. Right. Not to beat a dead moose about.
SPEAKER_02Or dead moon. Right. Alright. So evening goes by uneventfully, and it is now well into the first watch. Anyone doing anything in particular before they sack out? I know the dwarf is still sitting by the fire drinking meat.
SPEAKER_01I almost never do anything in particular. I do everything in general.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So you generally are just drinking meat in the middle.
SPEAKER_01Right, I'm a generalist. Not a specialist. I'm not a particular No.
SPEAKER_02Alright. So the first watch goes by uneventfully. Serial. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna go wake the next guy up.
SPEAKER_02Which is whom? Forget our watch order.
SPEAKER_03He's on his own. Everybody.
SPEAKER_02You get to think now.
SPEAKER_01You get to pick now, Serial. So it's this is Serial's watch order. Sure, I'll take the next watch.
SPEAKER_03Now we have his character's name. Kilmore.
SPEAKER_01Kilmore. I like that. That's good. Damn it, John. We have you here because you do remember stuff. You can't be like us. We can't all be mentally ill. Serial, roll a d20.
SPEAKER_03Remember facts and details, not names. Kilmore.
SPEAKER_02Roll two D10 and tell me the number.
SPEAKER_03Me?
SPEAKER_02Yes, yeah. Add them up. 97. 16. Come on, do the math yourself. Don't have a laugh at it. I did the same thing last. Yes, you did. Exact same numbers, too. We're going to send you both to the Zoolander school for kids that can't read good. It could have been the way it was explained.
SPEAKER_01This entire thing is just like groundhog dying.
SPEAKER_03790.
SPEAKER_02So who did you wake up? Kilmar. Kilmar, it is temperature still seems to be dropping. It's pretty cold out here. What are you doing on your watch? Anything in particular? I'm stoking the fire, making rounds. Okay. Well after Cereal retires, you just feel like you're being watched. Probably am. You haven't seen anything yet, but it really feels like you are. You should flex. Take off my shirt. It's super cold though, that would be a bad idea. You notice that there's still some food sitting out. Well, that's not good. Somebody got their plate down. I'm gonna go eat all that. I'll throw the leftovers on the fire that were disgusting half-eaten stuff. Okay. Anything worth salvaging, I'll put away or make sure it's secured in the wagons like it should be. I mean, who knows why the halfling didn't eat it, but then you realize, oh wait, there's no halfling tracks anywhere near here. Because he just stayed under the wagons the whole time. Out of sight, out of mind. Yep.
SPEAKER_03Using my stealth ability.
SPEAKER_02So you're putting the food away and you hear some movement coming from the outside of the wagon circle, kind of behind one of the wagons. You obscures your view of an area, but you can't really see what's there. It's dark. It's outside the pool of light. Well, I think a loud noise will scare a wild animal away. I I bang something together. Okay, give me a charisma check. We'll see how intimidating you can really be. Is it possible to go negative? It is. So it's a four. Okay. You start banging things. He goes ding. Well, I believe what happens here is he's putting the spare food away, and he effectively creates the effect of a dinner bell. Because from around the corner of one of the wagons, a massive white bear start just ambles between the wagons towards the center of camp. Check its feet. Check its feet. Are they round? No, they're bare feet. They're not round.
SPEAKER_04They're bare feet.
SPEAKER_02Just like the one T phone. So let's go to initiative order. I'm going to yell. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Well already did make a well the only one of us who isn't sacked out is that guy.
SPEAKER_02But in Shadow Dark. But in Shadow Dark, we always run initiative order and it goes around the table. So I'm going to say everybody that's asleep. And this is modified by decks, right? Just do a 12. Yeah. What's everybody's initiative? I got a nine. Ducky roll two. I got a four. You're got a five. I'm consistent. I'm very consistent. That was a d12. I think I'm retiring that dice.
SPEAKER_04I thought. No, I know.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I'm pulling the plug on that one already. What'd you roll, Eric? I rolled an 11. Anybody beat an 11? Oh, I got a 12. Okay. So Sean has initiative, so we'll start with Sean. You awaken to a loud bang. Sounds very much like a dinner bell. We're eating? You you wake from a dream of breakfast.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I guess I could have some more mousse. So where were you sleeping? That's a good question. I hadn't thought of it. Where's the bear?
SPEAKER_02Presumably in a wagon.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the wagon that I've been hanging out on, I'd probably settle down in between some sacks of grain or something in the back of that. Okay. I'm gonna just roll, say you're on in the eighth wagon, the last wagon in the train. So you I was in the second one. Right.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the second from the front. He was riding with Ranga. Alright. The bear is in between the third wagon and the fourth. Who's on the at this point? So what do you do? You wake up to that bang. There's really not much else going on. It's still very much dark.
SPEAKER_01I don't hear any other commotion other than that. Are you gonna just stop and listen? Or are you gonna act? I'm gonna make a wisdom check for myself. And I rolled a three. So I'm gonna come bolting out. Gotcha. I've decided. So the wisdom yelp. Ah! And I run out of the of the wagon. So you run out of the wagon, and you see a very large one.
SPEAKER_02No, it's like halfway into the wagon circle, one wagon down from you. And I got like a chicken wing, and I'm holding it down. Yeah, he's like on a plate of food and some other, and he's like about to lean over and put it into something, and I mean he's talking at the bear.
SPEAKER_01Probably getting up, grabbing my crap, getting out of the wagon would be what I can do.
SPEAKER_02Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's your turn. So, but I'm aware of the bear.
SPEAKER_02You are. You got your stuff, you jump down, you went, oh shit. That's a bear.
SPEAKER_01And I I bellow as loud as I can.
SPEAKER_02White bear! So we move over to Glaric's character Glem. Glem.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Wake up hearing pots and pans and then white bear being yelled.
SPEAKER_01You're welcome.
SPEAKER_04So I look around. I'm at the fire. I spent that. I sleep at the fire. All right. So I look around, do I see anything? Do I see the white bear? It's pretty hard to miss from the fire.
SPEAKER_02It's there. Because it's maybe 10-15 feet from you, halfway into the circle of wagons. So like there's probably the fire, a ring of like logs or something that you cut to sit on. And then maybe five feet, ten feet between that and the wagon ring. And it's in that space in between.
SPEAKER_04Not close enough to go to it. Oh yeah. You could move and attack if that's what you choose to do. I love the way you say these things. If you'd like to. Yeah, I get up. Do you touch it? Yeah. Always. I stand up, whatever I had over me at night falls off my leather armor glinting in the sunlight. The moonlight. Sorry, there is no sun. No, there's no sun.
SPEAKER_01It's not up yet. What is glinting on your weather armor? Do you have a glitter? It's actually the frost and rhyme that has accumulated.
SPEAKER_02Because he was sleeping under the blanket, but it's not Gore-Tex, right? So yeah, it's not.
SPEAKER_04I pulled my sword, my sword, and attack the bear. I rolled an 18. Well done. That will certainly hit. And then for what am I rolling for my damage from the sword?
SPEAKER_01D8.
SPEAKER_03Maybe it's hurt. You just heal it.
SPEAKER_01Heal bear. Eight. Wow. You got his attention. I don't think any of us need to be here. I heal myself. Yeah, you heal myself. Kick ass.
SPEAKER_04Now that I've done that, I realize what I've done. So yes, you have to be a little bit more.
SPEAKER_01You're like 100 fish called Wanda that ends up killing that dog by accident.
SPEAKER_02And the sword definitely bit. You did some damage for sure. It's dead? No. Of course. No, ironically. Probably very angry. But it's not its turn yet. So next we'll go to it's not its turn. Cereal, the halfling mage, who wakes up to the loud bang. Sounds like a dinner bell.
SPEAKER_03Loud bang. I hear some dwarf grumbling and yelling about the white bear. Oh, I also want to damn thrull. The white bear! I'm gonna roll back over and go back to sleep, thinking it's the drunken dwarf smashing in the I mean it was.
SPEAKER_02That's pretty valid, actually.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's very spot on.
SPEAKER_02So you just roll back over and go to sleep. All right.
SPEAKER_03I didn't hear a bear. I didn't hear nothing. No, I heard was a bang a drunken dwarf yet.
SPEAKER_01That's a good move, meta, too, because you need your mage armor. So right. I need to rest more than I need to help this guy. Two more health points. That's very albany. That's strategic thinking. That's next level. It is next level.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna tame the bear. I'm gonna come out and tame the bear. Yeah. Toss it around.
SPEAKER_02I mean, if you have the ability, that's probably shouldn't have toss it a dwarf rind. So we now are to the bear's turn. So you are now standing in front of the bear.
SPEAKER_03Alone.
SPEAKER_02By yourself. Alone. How do you get this? All right. Yes. You said it. I'm standing in front of the bear. So the bear rears up on its hind legs, lets out a roar, and attacks you.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna roll a wisdom scene.
SPEAKER_02What is your armor class?
SPEAKER_04I am an armor class of 13. I have shieldage. Alright. So it takes a swipe with each paw. Oh, of course, and a bite too, probably.
SPEAKER_02No, it's a bear hug you gotta worry about.
SPEAKER_03Steely glaze.
SPEAKER_01Steely. That is steely glaze. So that's an inside joke from a campaign way before we even did a podcast.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_01One of the claws misses, the other one connects.
SPEAKER_02My four 742. Four points of damage. No problem. So the huge white claw, and by that I don't mean a seltzer. I don't. What do you mean? Just bites into your armor and you uh stagger under the sheer mass. Alright, I realize I made a mistake. It is a big bear. It is probably taller than the wagons themselves when on its hind legs. Oh, okay. And now we're over to Hyomar. On the Drex turn? No, you're next. No, we go around the table.
SPEAKER_04No magic missile, huh?
SPEAKER_02He's asleep.
SPEAKER_03I'm still asleep. He's casting Snore of the Halfling. Snore of the Halfling. But now I might be awakey herd of bearing. Don't I get him?
SPEAKER_02So I'm very close to him as well. Yeah, you're easily within attacking distance if you choose to do so. I choose. He's facing Glem. Glem, which is basically it's it's come out between two wagons. Plump bonus to attack.
SPEAKER_01And it's facing towards the fire. And you're probably feeling a little emasculated because you were on watch and he was the one that hit the bear first. Wow, that's fine.
SPEAKER_04No, it doesn't care.
SPEAKER_01Don't bother me.
SPEAKER_02I'm not sure that's a thing. We can make it a time. Alright. I'm gonna uh swing my axe. So you can uh let's see where my axe is. Did you roll a natural one? Yeah. That thing didn't even bounce. Did you see that? That bow? It didn't roll. It just went dead. Bam! One fucking feet. Roll a D6 for me.
SPEAKER_03Now an axe and Glim.
SPEAKER_02A one as well. Yeah. Alright, thanks. So you swing the axe with all your might, and it impacts on the shoulder of the bear, bounces off with enough force that it's just sticking in the ground. I need to retire that set. That's two down. So it's not gone. It's just will have to be recovered before you're able to tackle it. Yeah, you might need to, yeah. So you might have to draw a different weapon or recover the axe, whatever. I'm gonna draw a different weapon, but that's next round. That axe sucks. How far away is the bear from the fire? About eight to ten feet. Are there any like pieces of the branches and wood that was in the fire that has like a foot of unburntness? Like sticking out? There's certainly things in there long enough to pull out like a brand. Yeah, but I just want to make sure that the end isn't going to be on fire where I grab it. So that's a good idea. Yeah. As someone who lives in a culture where fire is their primary. Right. So sure. I'm gonna reach in there and grab a burning brand and just kind of wave it around in front of the bear in an attempt to kind of distract or intimidate it. It's been struck and it hasn't gotten any food, and now there's fire being waved kind of in its face. Okay. I'm not really like trying to attack it. I'm just trying to make it realize that there's easier meals than this. Alright, we're gonna do an opposed charisma check. Alright. Well, I have a natural charisma.
SPEAKER_04The bear has charisma.
SPEAKER_02Well stat. Everybody has charisma for Almar.
SPEAKER_03I got a negative three.
SPEAKER_02That was my dice. I have a 14. Alright. You won the check, so you wave it around. The bear kind of gets this look on his face like, huh? And kind of he backs up a bit, so he's now between the wagons. Alright. But he hasn't backed down. Still on his hind legs, still in attack position, but he just kind of ambles back a little bit. I what I'm hearing is that he is exposing his midsection to the axes and swords of my friends. Go for it, man.
SPEAKER_04Tenderbelly.
SPEAKER_02And dwarves. Go, no offense.
SPEAKER_01Alright.
SPEAKER_02Dwarfs.
SPEAKER_01I'm going to shout a battle cry.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01And I did he look intimidated from the fire?
SPEAKER_02It was backed off a bit. Backed off a bit. So take that how you will. Very intimidated. At this point, from your perspective, you're between two wagons. There is a wagon between you and the bear. The bear is now between that wagon and the one beyond it. So you can either go to your right and come in behind the bear.
SPEAKER_01And he's still on hind legs? He is. At what level does my tip of my head come to on the bear's physiology? Probably bottom of the rib cage. Okay. I am going to use all of my movement and I'm going to sprint straight at the bear with my shield held out, and I'm going to I'm going to just shield bash him with my full velocity. Right in the giblets.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Are you coming from the rear or the front?
SPEAKER_01From the side, probably from it to the side. He's between the wagons and the biggest. He's between two wagons. I'm in front with the windows. Oh, he's between two w wagons. Right. Your option is. Okay. Well, then I'd have to do the from the front. Because I'm inside the wagon.
SPEAKER_02Because I didn't want to be the next guy on the bear's menu. Wow. Okay. So let's see how this goes. Yeah, I would say this is a strength check. Okay. Oh, you got that. It'd be a pose, perhaps. Yeah, but the bear's probably got a lot of strength. Yeah, but he's not.
SPEAKER_01Shut up, guys. Shut up. Well, roll your dice and take it out of the GM's hands.
SPEAKER_02Try to figure out how magnificent. Oh, that trip one! Bear's dead. Kill the bear. So I'm gonna go shield bash. What do you think damage would be? A D6? D3. D20. D3. I'll give him a D6.
SPEAKER_01I relish opportunities roll my D4.
SPEAKER_02Are you on D4? Alright. Well, whatever you say. I would think D6. Okay. Especially a dwarf that's like part of their fighting style. All right. Percentile.
SPEAKER_01Hey, judgments. Oh, nice. Five plus two. Well, no, you don't add I do because I'm a fighter. So I was gonna say in this case, you definitely it would be seven. All right. But it's subdual damage, kinda, if that matters.
SPEAKER_02Is it? I think the key factor is the bear was backing up and then you rammed it further back. Now it's like, oh fuck this place, man. Alright. So because of this, and the knocking of it off balance, I will say the next attack against it will have advantage. Okay. And that brings us to our priestly Glam. I attack. With sword. Alright, so there's now a dwarf between you and the bear. So you'll have to maneuver a bit to get there, but it is doable.
SPEAKER_01You can swing over my head, don't roll a while.
SPEAKER_02You're in my way. Right. Roll two D20. Take the highest. 14. Got any pluses?
SPEAKER_04It's a good thing you didn't take the strength is 11, so that's no pluses.
SPEAKER_02Well, you still hit.
SPEAKER_01D8.
SPEAKER_02D8.
SPEAKER_04I can't find it. Two. Oh man. That killed it though, right?
SPEAKER_02No, you realize in a sudden bit of impetus. Impotence. Impetus. I've never had impetus. That your sword stroke did far less damage than the dwarf shield bash. Well it makes sense. I'm a professional. I'm used to this. Right. Alright, so that is your action. Any other coincidental or incidental actions? Just random.
SPEAKER_04No, I was gonna get a fire poke or two, but after his bash, I had to.
SPEAKER_02So everybody realizes you can do like an incidental like little thing as well, right? You can move an attack, you can like just making sure.
SPEAKER_01The first time I yelled incoherently.
SPEAKER_02Right. But I'm not sure everybody understood that's like a thing in the game. So serial. So you've seen this chaos. You've heard all the yellows. No, he hasn't.
SPEAKER_03I haven't seen all that. I've heard it.
SPEAKER_02Silly me. I just now heard the bear. Your dreams are intruded upon by the sounds of combat. Plus a grunting. So you have the option to try to stay asleep, which will take a conscious effort, or you can act. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna get up and I don't know what wagon am I on. You have a listed error.
SPEAKER_02Roll a D8, and you can I'll just tell you who's wagon. Anything but five under. You can still sleep under it. Oh, under five, yeah, you could. Where else would he be sleeping? Not in five. One. Wagon one.
SPEAKER_03I don't remember being in wagon one.
SPEAKER_02You are now. Hagan's wagon. So you are actually fairly far away from the bear fight. Okay. Because you would be on the opposite side of the ring.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna jump out and go around the outside of the ring back towards the back.
SPEAKER_02Okay. A ring like the circus. To get to the bear, that will take your entire turn with your halfling legs. On the outside. On the outside.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna go underneath the bear's gonna go on you as well. I'm under the wagons. I have a question. Go behind the bear. I got a path moving in the back.
SPEAKER_02Are you trying to actually get to the bear or are you trying to just without being the target again? Expend your turn. Because you could go across the fire area and get to the bear in one turn and act if you want. My suggestion would be never take the GM's advice. You can go around the wagons and you will not get to attack it. And maybe not end up in the fight.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's trying to get to the I'm taking around the outside.
SPEAKER_02Alright, alright. So you're circling around the circle of wagons.
SPEAKER_04He's getting behind the bear on all fours, getting prepared.
SPEAKER_02Push him over. Gotcha. Gotcha. That'll be behind him in proven. The halfling, the tiny step ahead. The bear is faced with a dwarf right in front of him that just shield bashed him. Very scary. And there is a human behind him who is swinging a sword at him. Swinging it. There's another human not too far away with a point. He smells really good. He smells good. Smells like food. Smells like burning food. So we're gonna see, I'm gonna randomize who it attacks. So one to three will be the dwarf. Four-five is the human with the sword, and six is smells like dinner. That would be smells like dinner. Wow. He's got the lowest charisma anyway. So the bear follows his instincts and basically pushes past you to take a swipe at the guy putting the food away.
SPEAKER_01Opportunity attack.
SPEAKER_02Okay, opposed strength check. Oh, nice. Because that's you can move through enemies in this, but there's a strength check to do it.
SPEAKER_03No, that's fair. He kicks a dwarf over a wagon. No.
SPEAKER_01I rolled a seven.
SPEAKER_02It rolled a two. Oh wait, hold on. What's its strength bonus?
SPEAKER_01None. We're talking about single digits. This doesn't have to be.
SPEAKER_02Except I'm rolling the dice. Okay. He needs all the I rolled a six, but it has a plus three. Okay. So it wins the strength check and is able to push past you. We had a mid-off. Which makes sense because it's a huge fucking bear. No, yeah, no. Your Almar would have been able to beat that bear. Oh, tackle it. You should have wrestled it. And it's coming for dinner. It is a fantasy setting. What's your armor class, Yalmar? At this point in time, it is a 14. Okay, I can't roll on this. Because there's he missed again.
SPEAKER_01What is he doing? No, it's. Oh no, sorry.
SPEAKER_02My AC is a 15. I looked at the wrong square.
SPEAKER_01You might have to. RG, I'm given his history of die rolling, might have to have a surrogate dice roller. Or we won't have any challenges.
SPEAKER_02No, one of the claws does connect. It swipes at you with both claws. And you take seven points of damage. Ouch, Lord. I rolled pretty well that time. I move into healer mode. This is a huge bear. Healthcare. That was ouch. Easily nine feet tall. Oh, now you say I thought it was a cub. I am blood. It's a full-blown polar bear. It's the real deal. So Hilmar takes a huge SWA to the side and he's bleeding heavily. Drek, how will you answer this? Well, there's plenty of bear to strike. But I don't think I'll have the ability to bear and then within my backstab ability.
SPEAKER_01Where are you? Well he's focused on food.
SPEAKER_02I'm assuming that I was in front of it. Yeah, but I think you have to not. It's not just that they're engaged, they have to be right, you have to be hidden, don't you? I'm not sure. Well, you're still holding a flaming brand in your hand. Yeah, but I in my other hand I could easily be holding my sword. Right, but there's no real sneaking with a flaming brand in your hand.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_02To be a fan. I know I get it. Yeah. Um, well, I really don't want to get anywhere near it, but I feel like I have to stab it. Alright. Give it a go. 16. That will definitely hit this large white bear with several bloody gashes on it. Four points of pokey damage from my sword. You successfully poked it. There is now another bloody spot on the white fur. Man, we're never going to be able to use this fur for anything after all this. And then I jump away as my extra action that the jam reminded me I have.
SPEAKER_01This whole thing is like the world's weirdest big game hunting.
SPEAKER_02I didn't go that round. Yeah, but they're hunting. You didn't go? No. Oh shit. We skipped. We skipped home Kromar as the bear attacked him, and then we went to me. So it's actually his turn. Alright. Sorry about that. Only a hand axe remaining, so I'm going to attack with that. Or you could pick up your big axe. Neck takes a action, right? And the bear might have. Is that the minor action? That's the minor axe. Okay, then I am retrieving my great axe and attacking. That will be a 16 to hit. That will hit. Great axe. That is awesome. Yeah. Find these bonuses. Seawolf ended up. Nothing. You don't get your strength bonus, or do you get your strength bonus? Strength bonus is to hit only. Don't you have class abilities that add damage? Like pluses to damage? I thought there's a plus two for fighters or something. That's fighters. Fighters, right? Oh, you're not a fighter. Okay. He's a seawolf. Right. I gotcha. Yeah, I get it, but he doesn't. Gotcha. Correct. Yeah, so it's just uh one point. You don't get your strength bonus. Are you kidding me? No, strength bonus doesn't go to damage only to hit, right? You're holdable one. Okay. Yeah. Unless you're a fighter.
SPEAKER_04Hit with the flat end of the axe.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. As you're picking it up, the only strike you think you can make is with the butt of the axe. Yeah. You do so with the pointed butt of the axe and my part.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I think since we don't want to mess up the fur, this is what we're going for. That's right. We're trying to get unconscious.
SPEAKER_02I'm trying to make a bear cape out of this. Right. Well, it's not my turn because I already went and did four points of damage. You did it. So we're on to roll. Our favor. I assume is it's a big one.
SPEAKER_01I swing my great axe because my the ability to drive him out of the camp is no longer there. No, which is. Which was my original plan. Somebody's getting a white cloak. And that is a 19 plus two, I'm sure it hits. Absolutely. And whammy.
SPEAKER_03If you asked you, aren't you hitting him in the back now?
SPEAKER_02Max damage ten. Ten points? Ten points. You sink the axe into the animal, you think you've driven its life force away. Almost. Almost. But it is still standing with many bloody gashes. It's not gonna happen. Go ahead, dude. Yeah, it's probably gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03He's gonna lose his sword.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Here comes a natural one. Nope. It's gonna be a 14. Glem? Oh. It's a seven. Thank God. Is that the best you can do?
SPEAKER_04That's the best I can do.
SPEAKER_02He did not do it.
SPEAKER_04That's the best I can do. No, I get a full and eight to it? No. Okay. How about a nine?
SPEAKER_02Also, no. Once again. Sorry. I messed up. Yes, it was. Next is Cerial. Is he there? He can't. Who is currently none of you have seen yet. You have no idea where the halfling is. He's coming right underneath the bear down the stomach. But he's circling around behind the bear. And what are you doing, Cyril? You're at this point within sight of the bear coming around the back side of the wagons.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna cast magic missile at it.
SPEAKER_02Do it in the darkness?
SPEAKER_03At the bear, I can see the bear.
SPEAKER_02It's advantage.
SPEAKER_03You just said I could see it.
SPEAKER_02Can I shoot a magic missile at the darkness? Alright. Yes, you can to cast your spell. Darkness is real.
SPEAKER_03Fifteen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I can't imagine that. And you magic missile you do with advantage. You pass the first one, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Doesn't it? Alright, it goes off. Roll damage. How many missiles do you get? It's not one.
SPEAKER_03It's one and it's like a 1D four.
SPEAKER_02Alright. Roll it.
SPEAKER_03Phew! Force.
SPEAKER_02What'd you get?
SPEAKER_03For this.
SPEAKER_02Alright. So describe to me how your magic missile kills this massive animal.
SPEAKER_03So being so short, I just aim my hands upward at this bear, firing a big cylinder shaft right up right up the butt.
SPEAKER_02You can't see it, but the arm motion made that. That was great. It was great. The word fist came to mind. This is where we need an artist to Okay, right. Oh my god. All right. So you these moments are listeners. Your magic missile slays the beast. It falls forward towards the dwarf. Oh my goodness. Alright. So the bear is dead. It is laying face down into the campsite as you all stand there, battling it, and then there's a flash of light. It falls at your feet, and the halfling is revealed. Tonight. We eat.
SPEAKER_01And we're gonna drop out of initiative order at that point. What's next? So pro move you just turn around, don't say anything, and go back to the wedding. He just drops a wand and walks off.
SPEAKER_02It's a wand drop. Alright, so it is roughly the middle of the night. It is very cold. A dead polar bear laying in camp. Go to bed. Well, who's uh whose watch is it? It's still yours. Still mine. All right. It's all right. I'll take the next watch.
SPEAKER_01We need to drag this thing out of here. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's get a couple of the horses. His next is gonna be one of those rocks. Yeah, we'll take it in the carcass.
SPEAKER_02I want to call. They probably don't come out at night. We don't know that. But I'm sure there's other things that do. Yeah, I'm sure. Well, let's get some horses, get some rig some rope, the harness for the wagon horse, and we'll pull them down the trail, back the trail, where we came from, because that way we don't have to go by it again. And then we'll and that's downhill.
SPEAKER_01It's like a hundred yards or something like that. Yeah, a hundred yards, two hundred yards. I saw Wolf trail. I mean, it should go. I mean, we can probably just roll them onto a piece of canvas or something and just pull them. Like you're doing on the snow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He probably slides on the snow pretty well with his own fur. Yeah. Actually, they're known to do that. Yeah. So anyway, we'll break up Horses to some rope and pull them away. Okay. Because I'm sure we have at least sixteen. You can absolutely do that. It takes about the remainder of Hilmar's watch to get it done. I don't want to miss any sleep.
SPEAKER_03I go take a bear claw.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
unknownFirst kill.
SPEAKER_01Where'd you get donuts?
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_02That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03I worry about where I get stuff.
SPEAKER_02I feel like you ask him that question often.
SPEAKER_04Every time. Where'd you get donuts?
SPEAKER_02Yummy. Sean and John work at the same establishment, so well, establishment is a little bit different. Yeah. To be fair, I, of all people, know that very well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, four of us here have worked at that establishment. And one of them is currently battling them. And if we hadn't, we wouldn't be here right now.
SPEAKER_02That's probably true, right? Alright, so I'll take the next watch after all mark and go to bed after we get this stupid thing out of the way. Alright. Cyril doesn't have to help. You can go right back to bed there, whiz. I'm out. Now, are you making any efforts to cover the blood trail, or are you just kind of chucking it out there and moving on? Well, now that you said something, yeah, we're gonna make efforts to cover the blood trail. 100% of the plan. Each one of us is gonna go back and double check the other one's work to make sure it's see. I asked that because your characters would probably know to do that, but none of you mentioned it.
SPEAKER_01That's because our characters would know how to do it.
SPEAKER_02That's right. They did it.
SPEAKER_01Right, right. I pee on the trail in case anyway. I've never had to dispose of a polar bear corpse in the middle of the night in my own life.
SPEAKER_04After being attacked. That you know of that I'm aware of.
SPEAKER_02Right. That he will admit to. When asked, he simply says, I was never convicted. I was never convicted. Alright. So it is the beginning of Drek's watch. I'm assuming everyone is returning to original positions, or are there any changes? You mean like where they were sleeping? That, yeah?
SPEAKER_04No, I'm back at the fire.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I like my sacks of grain. Build the fire up real quick. I'm not walking around tonight. I'm picking a secluded location where I can see the entire camp. That might be the bed of a wagon or something. Or right next to a tree right outside our camp. So are you going outside the circle of wagons to do this? I don't like the sound of that, no. Or are you staying in the pool of light created by the fire? Yeah, that's my goal tonight. The safety. I'd rather like sit in one of the seats of the wagons. It is very cold tonight, and the temperature is dropping. Alright, well, I'll make a bigger fire then. And I'll sit right by it and I'll prep the mead container for uh for old Thrall when he gets up by making sure it doesn't freeze. If mead freezes, you're screaming. Right, yeah, that's that's bad. Well, we'll make sure by putting it near the fire. Okay. So your watch passes by uneventfully and the sun is beginning to rise. But the temperature. Why didn't I wake Thrall up? I thought you were last watched.
SPEAKER_01You guys have decided that I'm not fit for this watch duty thing. No, you're totally fit for the duty. He did my watch watching.
SPEAKER_02Because he stood watch, he stood watch, and now it's you as the watchmaster. I'm telling you. Self-appointed that I'm doing third watch through the watch. We kicked into last watch. No, I can wait. There are four watches.
SPEAKER_04We do a four-watch system. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01As the watchmaster, two of these hour-long watches. I can be on watch during breakfast. That's cool. Two hours. Two hour watches.
SPEAKER_02Yes. All right. Just means I get to roll for more random encounters.
SPEAKER_01No, it doesn't. Somebody's salty about this. Somebody's not happy that we killed the baby. That I'm not doing watch. Yeah, is that what it is? I mean, I did like, you know, what, 15 points of damage or 17 points of damage to the thing.
SPEAKER_02So roughly half its hit points. Yeah. Yeah. I killed it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but that's only because it woke up. That counts as my watch. I got up. So that counts as my own.
SPEAKER_02So are you two standing in the camp arguing about this right now? Because that's what I'm picturing. I had to go to sleep now. He's throwing wood on the fire and bitching at you. You wake me up and you're bitching back. Everybody else is trying to sleep. So where do we go from here?
SPEAKER_04What is the since we've woken, we've wakened, we're up now. What happened to the health point points? Is that when you're in the middle of the night? Nothing. They're all like they were nothing got healed. Right. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Anyone won healing? Yes.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm down four, but I think he needs more help than I do. I am still bloodied.
SPEAKER_04So okay, we need to establish three before we do anything. No, I'm gonna heal.
SPEAKER_02Before we do anything. Do I sound overmodulated? I feel like I do. You're a little close to the mic.
SPEAKER_04You are you are that's where I usually hear you breathing pretty heavily. You are over modulated.
SPEAKER_02Am I just true? Is that better? Am I too far? No, it's good. Okay. So we need to establish where we are in time. I thought there were three watches.
SPEAKER_01There always had been prior to tonight. Okay. I'm just making sure I'm not missing something. And it was definitely decided in a previous recording session that Thrall was not welcome to be on watch anymore. Because he did not wake up for the next one. That might have been the reason why he did it.
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, it wasn't that you weren't going watch, you were on the last one.
SPEAKER_01They made me do first watch the previous watch. Yeah. Either first or last, one of those. Okay. I think it was last. You were last. Okay. But we had him do watch to do first watch this time.
SPEAKER_02In a climate like this, night is like 12 hours long. I was figuring there were three four-hour watches, but now you're saying there are four three-hour watches? Sure. No, it sounds like there's five 2.1378 hour watches.
SPEAKER_03I think we have an Android that's up all night. Clem doesn't do a watch. He took a four-hour watch.
SPEAKER_01I don't do anything. He just needs to be there when the waning crescent comes up. Right.
SPEAKER_02So that's how I know when to wake your ass up. Goes on watch and decides to wake somebody up after two point what was it? Uh 1738 hours. Okay. And that person is It's Thrall, the dwarf, who has not stood watch yet tonight. Alright. So you and after 2.178 hours. That's 3.8. So sorry, sorry. Yeah. Took you a little extra to get there, so it's a little off. I didn't account for the smell. Yeah, what are you doing? I'm waking up Thrall. Get up. It's your watch. What? Exactly. How are you waking up the drunken dog? It's cold. He's not drunk. Leave me alone. Yeah, I know it's cold. That's why I'm going to bed and you're getting up and doing your watch. Leave me alone. You might not have remembered this, but you agreed to this last night when you were drinking mead. You remember? No. Okay, well, that's not my fault.
SPEAKER_01You're on watch. Good night. Go away. Agreement is transitory, laddie. Well. So's your watch.
SPEAKER_02It'll be over in two hours. It's not dwarfish, it's crap. I got the mead barrel out for you. Oh? Oh, okay. It's right by the fire where you'd like it. See? The empty one.
SPEAKER_01But you can use my mug. Are you still talking to me? Yeah. Oh, what? I don't know why we brought you along. You're a real pain in the ass. You know that? I'm getting paid five gold to do watches at night.
SPEAKER_02So you're getting paid five gold and you're doing watches at night. I'm not getting paid any extra to be the watchmaster. I'm doing that out of the kindness of my heart. Whatever. We need a union.
SPEAKER_01Why don't you go get your hour of sleep?
SPEAKER_04I'm sure he wrote it down though in a little notebook. Yes. Watch.
SPEAKER_02I will go get my two hours of sleep. Extra pay. So, Throll, as you crawl out into the bitterly cold morning, the sun is coming up, but you don't see it. The sky is just becoming lighter gray. Very overcast. Okay. Feels like snow. God damn it. Those of us that live in a climate like that know what I mean.
SPEAKER_03It's just kind of a white gray sky.
SPEAKER_01You know when it's coming.
SPEAKER_02Featureless. You can kind of feel the moisture in the air. And it is cold. This is why we live underground. Now you can't get there. Well, excuse me. Is it time to get the horses ready? Because I'm picturing that we need to get this show on the road if we're ever to make it through this pass before we get snowed into it. Who wants to get snowed in? Raise your hands.
SPEAKER_04I'm sleeping. You're already snowed in.
SPEAKER_02Right. You're gonna get snowed in before the end of the day. I'm talking about where we're starting to eat the horses, and then we're eating the bear, and then you know each other, then each other, and the halfling. Right, you're last to go because you're the smallest meal.
SPEAKER_04Moose and bear, but we'll keep it.
SPEAKER_02Let's make sure that we don't get attacked by another bear by getting out of the bear territory. Me either. And it's not a polar bear, it's some kind of white mountain bear. That's right. Right? In space bear. It's a big white garments. That's a cave bear. It's a white cave bear just for the winter. Special made for this adventure. Good news is it didn't get a taste for dwarf. Since they live in caves and all.
SPEAKER_01No. It's not fast enough to hit me, Laddie. Got a taste of my steel.
SPEAKER_02You know, I heard of dwarves that ride bears in some locations. Yeah, we don't talk about them anymore.
SPEAKER_01Yeti bear riders. Alright. We're doing this banter while. We live underground where it's a consistent temperature all the time, and it never snows or rains. What are you doing up here then? Making gold. I've made poor life choices, buddy. Yeah. Sounds like a theme.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so it is now day for what it's worth. The sun is up. You can see torchlight is no longer necessary, but there is no warm sun in the sky. Let's get moving. We can't peace. And the wind is starting to pick up. Come on, Hollbird, let's go. You're waking everyone up. These supplies aren't going to deliver themselves. Nope. We made him get stuck in the snow. As opposed to what? Being stuck in the snow here or being stuck in the snow there. We're going to be stuck in the snow. Down that way is closer. That's right. In the morning, you see Stingier. He does come out and uh go into the secret wagon. Uh oh. God, I gotta do something about that whole wagon thing. Brown cow. There's a slight small plume of smoke coming from a chimney on top of the wagon.
SPEAKER_01Is there anything as a company that we can do to turn these wagons into sleds? I mean it's possible. Anything's possible.
SPEAKER_02Well, I get I get with wood.
SPEAKER_04With wood. Take off the wheels and put on the sleigh wheels. I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Skis. The skis and stuff. Make a sledge out of it effectively. Right. Yeah, that's possible.
SPEAKER_01There are a whole bunch of carpentry tools that we're delivering up there to Miro's rest. Are there like taiga trees up here?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there are trees up here.
SPEAKER_01Like short, scrawny pines that have straight trunks?
SPEAKER_02Probably.
SPEAKER_01Take a little while to find enough to Well, I mean, that's not something we're gonna do if we can move otherwise, but if we can't move otherwise, we've got to do it.
SPEAKER_02The wagons can still move. There's not enough snow on the ground. Prevent the massive wheels turning. That's fair. The horses are not happy. It is really cold today. The wagons don't have chains underneath that we can pull out. No, no chains on the wagons. Only on the drive wheels of the wagons, which would be the horses' hooves.
SPEAKER_01The horses, they got it. I think we need some ABS too.
SPEAKER_02Right? How are we gonna stop and go down a hill, man? Gonna be four horses instead of two. Oh, they have four horses per wagon? No. You would need that for all-wheel drive, though. Yeah, I get it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. At least they're on the front, so you get that traction from. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Point it and stomp it. All right. Let's keep going. Let's go. All right. So is the plan to stay with the wagons today or scout ahead? Staying with the wagons. Staying with the wagons today. Alright. No one wants to get lost in the snow. Takes a couple hours for everybody to get up, moving. Everybody's a little slow to rise because did I mention it's cold?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_02A few hundred times. It's very cold.
SPEAKER_01Is it cold? Right. You've hammered that point with an alacrity that is scarcely believable too much.
SPEAKER_02Just a fact. Everything that's non-alcoholic is frozen this morning. I'm non-alcoholic. Well, I'm not sure that's true. You're not. You're totally alcoholic. It's about a percentage of alcohol content at this point. This sucks. Yeah. Yeah. We're all gonna die up here, Halvard. I'm already halfway dead. So he does take a moment to break out some furs and he passes them out. So everybody's got the best they can possibly have, I guess, in this situation. To keep them warm. Mostly to the drivers. He doesn't really care about you too much. That checks out. Right. I feel like I'm not even gonna get paid. So where is everyone in the wagon train as it's moving? Are we walking? Are we riding? I'm whatever I need to stay warm. I'm riding in the last wagon with the water. To stay warm, walking would be better. Yeah. Halfwing doesn't have a choice. Sitting on the wagon, not so much. So as the day passes, the sky darkens and snow begins to fall.
SPEAKER_03We on day 19? 14.
SPEAKER_02This is actually might be 15, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't remember a time before we were on this trip. I don't either. That's ironic because neither do I. My first memory. That's not surprising. It's just we walk and then wildlife visits us at night. Not always at night. Sometimes we're on the road. It's kind of like reality. And we've had the moose, smile done. Bear. It's gotta be wolves tonight. It's the worst zoo in the world.
SPEAKER_04Keep seeing birds.
SPEAKER_02It's gotta be wolves. It's gonna be a bird eventually. Bird, yeah. Yeah. I think one of us will die by a bird. I mean, reptiles are probably out. Yes, unless they're dragons. Unless they're dragons, exactly. Are dragons reptiles? It's hard to say. Why don't you ask them next position?
SPEAKER_04Imagine dragons.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. That was his mind being blown. Yeah, I get it. Well, anyone doing anything in particular, anything special? Or are we just trudging along? I'm trudging along. This seems like a day of trudging. Right. Okay. I feel like I'm in a survival horror. Which one of you is the alien? You trudge for most of the morning. It was the dog. It was the dog. That little weird halfling that touchdown. You might have woke up and save you guys from a bear.
SPEAKER_03Anyone point me out of the bed.
SPEAKER_02Touching the bear's balls. He couldn't really short. As the morning stretches on, that's all he could reach. He didn't have to reach specifically for him. He could have stood back a little bit. Right underneath. He just made it uncomfortable. Did you ever play tetherball? Okay. I don't know that we can go.
SPEAKER_04Here we go. Here we go.
SPEAKER_02We're on the car. We're trudging. We're trudging. We're trudging, but the morning drags on. And it actually is getting darker. The sky appears to be getting thicker with moisture. And the wildlife is flying lower. And you're realizing those birds are enormous. Those hawks you saw at a distance are easily what you would imagine the size of a dragon would be. Because they're lower, you're getting a good glimpse of what they actually are. When they pass over, they put a shadow across most of the wagon train. If the sun was out.
SPEAKER_03Turkeys.
SPEAKER_02If the sun was out.
SPEAKER_04But since there is no sun, they can't cast a shadow.
SPEAKER_02But they're definitely hunting, but they don't seem to be hunting you.
SPEAKER_01I mean, if they were, we'd be dead already. Right. We'd just be feeding them horses and abandoning wagons. At this point, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_02They actually yeah. So me now. Well, the day, the morning passes uneventfully, you do watch as these enormous birds are hunting what appear to be what I can only describe as very woolly rhinoceros. I thought they were goats. Up on the slopes. Halvard did you go woolly rhino goats. Halvard, did you know of this? Have you seen these before? Yeah. Okay. Never bothered me before. Alright. This seems ridiculous for five gold a day. Well, you're just looking at them. Okay. Well, don't expect a lot of protection from a flying house-sized bird. Not a lot we can do about that for any amount of money. They're interested in bigger prey. Trust me. Or now. Right. If that was the case, I wouldn't be I don't know what. Look, man, I don't know about you. I don't fly, but if I was flying, this seemed like a day to maybe stay in the nest. Unless you're really hungry. Yeah. Yeah, I guess they gotta eat. And when you're that big, horses right here. So as lunch, you get around midday. Albert calls a stop to the train to build fires and have a hot meal. Albert, we made it like a mile, dude. And there's big fucking birds. And there's giant birds. And we're gonna stop to eat. So what they can stop to eat? No, what we're stopping for is to get warm.
SPEAKER_01It's a union mandated much break.
SPEAKER_02But if you don't want to stop, we can keep going.
SPEAKER_01If you'd rather freeze. Well, I don't know. Why don't we throw it to a vote for the entire company and not just make a decision? I mean, we all agreed to follow the. We've got to get out of this pass. This pass is going to kill us if we stay here. We're not in a position where we can. Who is doing that? That was me, sorry.
SPEAKER_04What was just he's fidgeting with my dice.
SPEAKER_02Not that's the I think somebody's chair squid. He was fond looking. Just as you say that, there's a loud crack. A s like a low rumble begins.
SPEAKER_01Oh, pissed off the geom. Well, depends on where the avalanche lands, then we'll know.
SPEAKER_02And you see Avalanche. One of these huge birds stoops and hits a rhino on the slopes far up. And the whole slope seems to start moving.
SPEAKER_01I look right at Halbert, stare into his eyes. Five minutes. I mean, is there any chance if we just turn the whips on that we can get out of the path of this? Or is it just You can try?
SPEAKER_02Everybody run! Go wagon.
SPEAKER_01It's the fuzz. Jeez it. I uh I smack the nearest pack horse with the flat of my axe. All right. Yeah!
SPEAKER_02Is that what everybody's doing? Trying to urge everything forward? Yep. I'm mounting up and beating the horse with a ten-foot pole. Alright.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you stupid throw a bitch.
SPEAKER_02So those who had dismounted, hurry to get back on the wagons. And you as you surge forward, let's say we surge forward with deepening snow. As much as you can surge in these conditions. You take three steps. The snow is beginning to get heavier coming down. With the avalanche or the snow falling from the sky. The snow falling from the sky. I wanted to differentiate there because there are two separate entities at this point.
SPEAKER_01I'm looking at individual snowflakes going, this is pretty heavy snow. As the freight train sounds louder and louder.
SPEAKER_02The snow itself is fairly fine. Not in my opinion. Meaning small. It's not fine at all. It's fine. It's fine. Let's see. How do we do this? We die. That's how we do it. Do we beat the avalanche or not? So do we think it's fair to do a single dice roll? Well, we're in a for the entire wagon train. For the entire wagon train, or do we do individual wagons by like well it depends how the avalanche fits us, I guess. Or does. How big it is. Seems to be like the entire face of the slope broke away. Well, since there's eight wagons, and essentially every wagon got moving at a potentially random time, I would say roll individually for each wagon, giving yourself number and then roll for each wagon. Alright. I don't know what wagon I was on. I'll do wagon number eight wagons. You were in eight. Five. I was an eight, but when the avalanche came, I ran to the closest freaking one. Which is the mystery wagon. So I'm just getting on. So you can get onto the buckboard in the front.
SPEAKER_01It's a perfect opportunity to wagon six. If the avalanche covers it, then we can find out what was in it after we dig it out.
SPEAKER_02I'll have to. Just hang on tight. Drek is on five. Tie yourself. I'm on this wagon. Yonmar is on six, you're on two. Three. You're on three. I never got off one. Alright, fair enough. So let's go around the table. And I'm gonna say What wagon were you on? Six. You were on six. So can we roll for whatever wagon we're on? Okay. We all got dice in our hand. No, I don't. And then you roll for the other three? So wait. What are we rolling? What is it?
SPEAKER_01An easy check is If we'd stopped and made skis, we wouldn't be here right now. We would be skipped.
SPEAKER_03No, the pass would be blocked. No, we'd still be back there making skis.
SPEAKER_01And the pass would be blocked, which we could ski over. It's already blocked because we heard the other avalanche.
SPEAKER_02So for wagon one, who's going to say it is a DC twelve check to get out, and will allow you to use your own decks in helping guide them. Do we have to? As opposed to not, just letting the wagoneer do it? Is that your thing?
SPEAKER_01As opposed to not using my decks.
SPEAKER_02You can allow the wagoneer to do it, and there will be no modifiers to the die roll. That's a better one. For each wagon, you are down the chain, the DC goes up. Of course. Oh God. Of course. Okay, no, that's fine.
SPEAKER_03It should start lower because you will have to pass the wagons in front of you potentially to get out.
SPEAKER_01So your DC is 17.
SPEAKER_02So if we're gonna go one from one down. So the first wagon, it is a simple DC twelve because they have an open path. See you guys. So go ahead and roll. But the moment he fails, the path's not open anymore. Three avalanches so far becoming.
SPEAKER_03I can add my decks to it. Yeah, add your decks to it. It'll be a two. All right. So he jumps on the first wagon.
SPEAKER_02Yeah! And the thing just sideways and kind of sinks a little.
SPEAKER_00Shit.
SPEAKER_02And the horses start braying. They're not happy. Okay. So who's on? You're on the second wagon? One, two. All right, so it's gonna be a 13 or better. Bye.
SPEAKER_01Andrew Dexter.
SPEAKER_02He jumps on the second wagon.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we're the log jam now.
SPEAKER_02And says, the wagon here slaps the reins. The horses ram right into the horses in front of them who have since skewed sideways and kind of lock the wheels of the two wagon. Right. Cats and dogs. So who's on the third wagon?
SPEAKER_04I like the way this is gonna end.
SPEAKER_02Were you the third west is not good? Okay. So you need a 14. Yeah, a nine. So you not as badly, but but your horses try to maneuver around the ones in front of you to the left. I think it's game over. And start to mire into it. Oh, wait. I get to go at the end. Fourth wagon. You're not getting around all this. Fourth wagon is somebody else. All right. I'm gonna take mine and go back. They fail, but not by much. So they manage to maneuver to the right of the cluster in the front. Oh, this is a cluster.
SPEAKER_00It's a cluster.
SPEAKER_02And again, kind of go off the path and sink into the deep snow, and they're stuck. There's maybe one more path through until it's just completely blocked. So wagon five. Alright. I jump on the horse and I ride the horse to lead it, as opposed to trying to do it from the wagon. Alright. I will give you. Yellow horse, move! Move! You know what? I'll give you advantage for that. Yeah. Move, horse, move. Natural 20. And I didn't even need it because that's the die I was going to use. Okay. So you've managed to jump on the horse, spur it, and lead the wagon through the only remaining path.
SPEAKER_01The wagon goes on the side wheels on the wall of the wall. It goes full millennium fountain. No, I jump right over. There's a snowpile.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You hear me hit the horn, and the shit flies out. Is that orange? Is that wagon orange?
SPEAKER_01And the wagon looks fixed. Alright, so that's a reference from a long time ago, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_02For those of you not old as hell, that is a Dukes of Hazard reference. The car. The general. The General Lee. So you managed to make your way through. So far, the only wagon to escape. Alright. And you are your horses are churning forward. And once I'm sure I'm at a safe spot, I make an attempt to rein them in. You're not going to be at a safe spot anytime soon. You're going to be a caravan of one. Oh well, hopefully this guy's got money. Number six. That's me. So your DC at this point is a 15. I'm pulling for you. DC 15? Yes. Okay. And I get plus two. 14. Fucker. So your total was a 14? Yeah. Alright, so you make it into the gap and a little bit past the cluster. Because you almost made it. You did far better than those before you. And but the wagon seems to sink in the deepening snow as you get past the group. You thought you had it? Horses were charged. You are. I smack Ulf in the back. If you used your index bonus, you're the one driver. Oh I was driving. You're in number six? Yeah. Ingolf. Ingolf is cursing you right now. I'm cursing him too, jerk. I mean. Anyone in number seven? We're just the guards. That's it. Everybody's gone. Number seven. No, you don't have a path. Also, it gets wrapped up in the cluster. And who's on eight? Anyone? Anyone? Doesn't matter. Do you want me to roll for him just cuz? Yeah. I mean, I'm the only one who succeeded, so I might be able to. I mean, he could pull a natural 20 out of the side. He went back to get another wagon. I rolled a nice wagon. That actually succeeds. So the last wagon gets out. Number eight kind of takes a while. He goes the other way. He's like, you guys are idiots, and just he's like the guy driving down the berm on the highway. He followed me.
SPEAKER_03Tokyo drifts on the water.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he takes the deep snow and just kind of makes his way past. He followed the tracks that Drek made the first one. So wagon number five, the secret wagon, and number eight are now out beyond the group. So Wolf and Elof made it with old Drek through the Sorry guys, I'm not going back to the street.
SPEAKER_01And we're seeing a wall of snow and ice coming closer. Yeah, you are.
SPEAKER_02And to make it fair, I decided to roll to hit with the avalanche. Make it fair. And in true fashion. A natural 20. I rolled a natural 20. The avalanche missed. So yes, the wagon train takes the brunt of the avalanche.
SPEAKER_01Before it hits, I'm I'm mentioning, yelling to the people on my wagon, the driver, I guess would just be, to get behind me, and I'm just holding my shield out to try to create a pocket.
SPEAKER_02Are we getting into the wagons? Are we getting under the wagons? What's the plan? I'm gonna stand on top of the wagon. Or are we just gonna set our shields and hope we're Superman?
SPEAKER_01I'm not sure that canvas is gonna help in this situation.
SPEAKER_03Well, I got a hard top. That's fair.
SPEAKER_01He has a hard top. My shield, better than canvas. Well, the wagons aren't canvas, they've got sides. No, but the top of it. The actual roof is, yes. Right, and the avalanche is coming down because that's what they do. Well, it's not right above the side.
SPEAKER_02You come down at an angle. You're on the ground, it's coming down the slope. It's gonna hit the sides of the wagon. Well, it's a steep slope. It is. Yeah, okay. I don't know. But it's gonna hit the bottom, fill in the sides, and it's gonna hit you from the side. All right. However, whatever. But I mean it ain't just if that's what you're doing, that's what you're doing. That's fine. So let's do this. Anybody that is in the cluster, let's do it. You can either do a strength check or a constitution check. You know what? You can even do deck if you want to do decks. So decks, you're trying to dodge out of the way and get into it like behind a tree, whatever. Constitution, you're trying to ride it out. Right. And strength, you're trying to fight it off. You're trying to set your shield and man it off. So let's go around the table and see who passes and who fails. So we'll start with uh serial strength, decks, or constitution.
SPEAKER_03Which are one it is the duck in the wagon?
SPEAKER_01Dex?
SPEAKER_03You choose Constitution.
SPEAKER_01Constitution. Can he make an intelligence check and not have set out on this journey? No.
SPEAKER_03Take it all back. Nineteen. Wow.
SPEAKER_02So you manage to kind of climb underneath the seat in one of the wagons and huddle. Turn invisible and hide from it. So you know, when it hits, the dragon the dragon. The dragon avalanche hits the wagon and largely absorbs the impact. And you are in a cavity in the snow at this point. You're in a you're in a wagon-shaped room. Pray to Gide. No, he's in a in a cavity under the seat of a wagon-shaped room.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, this is how Geed gets you back for that moose.
SPEAKER_03The moose that I helped your journey to the afterlife you elevated. Just heal the mountain. You said we could use wisdom?
SPEAKER_02Yes, heal the mountain. No.
SPEAKER_03Put the snow back. I'm gonna use the water. No, this is a pure man versus nature model.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'm using constitution.
SPEAKER_02Although, isn't your deity the deity of nature?
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_02Okay, then spirit neutrality, not nature. You gotta look.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's a four plus one, that's a five. And which did you choose? Constitution. Constitution, yeah. So he chose to ride it out. Ride it out and get swallowed.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so you are swept kind of away from everybody else into the trees with the avalanche.
SPEAKER_01It's a good thing this was a cliff on both sides pass and not a sheer drop-off sort of pass. Yeah. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so you survived that with basically no damage. Good job. We're gonna say Oh, that wasn't for me. No.
SPEAKER_03Can't find me.
SPEAKER_02So Eric bouncing around the trees and the rocks. You take four points of damage. Alright, alright. And you are hurt? What? Hold on. Hurt? Where are my buried? Completely improvised avalanche.
SPEAKER_04Broke all my legs.
SPEAKER_02All of them? All of them. All two of them. Unless you had some I didn't know about. Third one.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02You are mostly buried. Roll a D8. Mostly buried. Mostly there's an arm and a leg sticking out. As opposed to. Okay. Hold on. So just keep track of that for the moment. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01You're upside down in the snow. Keep track of my four. Alright. I am using strength. I'm going to defeat the avalanche. Try for it. No thanks.
SPEAKER_04Chocolate.
SPEAKER_01With my beard and my shield. Yarr. And that will be a nine. And you failed or succeeded by how much? What was the DC? 12. So I would have failed by three. Alright. So you take four points of damage.
SPEAKER_02Jesus. I am hurt. You are also partially roll a D6 and just keep that number.
SPEAKER_04My feelings are hurt.
SPEAKER_02Three. Alright. Drake. Yeah. What's it gonna be? He's out. You're out. Oh, that's right. That's right. You succeeded the initial check. Alright, so Drek's action will be to stop the wagon. I look back. I see a cloud of white powder that looked very much like the entire mountain just fell through the pattern. To be fair, you didn't completely escape the avalanche. You just didn't get hit with the brunt of it. So there's still snow flowing in and around the wagon. You're just not swept away with it. I would just like to point out that I rolled a natural 20. Yeah, and so did the avalanche. That's the my okay. Players, player natural 20s cancel out GM natural 20s. Right, which would mean you're still in the he has a plowed road in front of him. No, he doesn't. He is sl snowboarding. He's sitting on a beach in your color. I'm in a tavern in Miracle.
SPEAKER_0420 gets that.
SPEAKER_01I'm feeling like that would be a much better. And the person in the cart came out, and she's a beautiful maiden, and she professes her love to him. With ivory skin. Exactly. So because he rolled a natural 20 one time.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_02I could roll another if you'd like. And the wagon. The skin is also full of gold and magic items. Well, that's already been my given. Right. So what I'm hearing is I have to keep the wagon going to not get caught in any of the avalanche. Yeah, probably. Okay. Do I need to roll a die to do that? No. Alright, so I will keep the wagon moving. I won't attempt to stop it while the avalanche is still falling upon me. And then once I'm completely free of the avalanche and all of the mountain has entirely buried the party, I will stop. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Alright. We leave every man behind in this. We're not leaving anybody behind yet.
SPEAKER_04We're gonna think about it.
SPEAKER_01Y'all are gonna think about it.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna make a deal. Yalmar is gonna fight the snow. Strength? Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Fight. Fight.
SPEAKER_02I am fighting the snow. That's a 22. Yeah. And you made it. I punched the snow. So you made it by 10. Fucking beat that snow's ass. You actually did. Like you just kind of sew it. Yah!
SPEAKER_01And the snow parted by the side. Like the whole wagon train is gone, but the Omar is standing in waist deep snow.
SPEAKER_02He is so defiant in his resistance of the avalanche. There is like an eddy behind him where if you were there, you would be sheltered. This is what I was trying to do. Yes. It is exactly what you're trying to do. You were just a little too short. You're not looking up at me in awe. No, I'm not. I'm not looking up at anybody. Not only did you take no damage, but you were also unaffected. You're not buried freely next turn. Man, you didn't even roll a natural 20, and you're unaffected and can move freely. I rolled a natural 20. See what happens when you don't pitch back. Yes. He's not wrong. Oh, we don't like that. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Be like water. Or snow. It wasn't about it was about how much you made it by and your position. Yeah, but I didn't even have to roll this time. I guess that was my reward, not having to roll again. I could have failed that, and it would have been bad. It would have been bad. It could have been. And the amount by which you failed it determined how bad it was. Alright, so after a short period, the avalanche slows, the snow coalesces. So those of you who are in some way buried, and I had you roll a die. Right. You did it is now. Those are turns it will take to unearth yourselves. Ah people can assist in unearthing you. Did I have you roll cereal? He made his roll though. But he's also inside a wagon. But is the wagon buried? Maybe you just happen to not be buried. I guess we'll say that part of the wagon is exposed and he can climb out. So first round after the avalanche, those of you who are not buried in some way, what are you doing? You're well, we already established leave all men behind, right? So what are you doing? What are we doing? I don't guess since we're leaving everybody behind, we just continue on. Well, I haven't had the opportunity to leave you behind yet, so I'd like that opportunity before we actually say I do it. This is probably a few and then we can leave them behind. Yeah. Because now you know the scene is two wagons have made it seemingly through the avalanche. Everything else is in some way buried by the snow, right? The wagon drivers, etc., are scattered about. Some of them don't aren't visible. Some of your party isn't visible. Oh, I I mean, I know what my character will do. Okay. I'm just it's not my turn yet, right? Well let's go. Let's go around the table. We'll just do so. Yelmar, what are you doing? We'll stay in initiative order. First turn. Wagon next to me. I'm gonna start digging to see if I can help get the whoever's in there. And you were in wagon number I was in six. Okay, so you're probably on the other side of the cluster. So we'll say probably the closest wagon to you is one. Alright, whoever's that's he was pretty much cool. And that was all that was Cyril. Okay. So you can try to find the drivers. Yeah, I'm just gonna pull people out. Okay. So you're digging those folks out. So Dreck. Alright. You stop the wagon. It is free and clear of the avalanche snow. Right. Both wagons that that made it through are here, right? Yeah. So wagon eight and wagon one. Five. Or five, yeah. Five, sorry. So alright. Where what where does Halvard and Stigier normally hang out? Like where are they after the avalanche? Halvard was typically in two. But he's not here. You don't see him. And where is Stigier? Stigier typically rode towards the back. He was in seven, I believe. Okay, but everybody got kind of, you know, thrown out at different times. Everything's all over the place. They're not here with me right now. They're not visible now. Nice. So I go to the back of the wagon and I Man, that really echoed a lot in the middle of the thought. Yeah. It's not like a metal door. Yeah, I was gonna say, contrary to what it may sound like, the wagon is not in fact made of metal. The wagon is wooden. That's me knocking on the back door of the wagon. Okay. Good move. You're met with silence. Appreciate it. No response. They're dead. Hey, whoever's in there, the entire mountain just fell on the entire rest of the group. I, Drek, have saved your wagon. But now I must return and save everyone else. Please know that you will be here with your driver, oof, and he will start making camp. Dreck the Megalomaniac. For it seems like we may not go much further today. You are also here with Elof and his wagon, and he will also help make camp. If they are not your servants, no one will come and help you or give you anything for quite a while. But as a man of little means, I am more than willing to do my share for you for an extra fee, since Halvard may be very dead right now. That leaves me in charge. Finish it with I Drek have said this.
SPEAKER_04I have spoken.
SPEAKER_02This is the way.
SPEAKER_04Very good. And then he flings a cape.
SPEAKER_02He's like half Lando Calrician and half Boba Fett. I think a little Drake might have come out there for a minute. Nice. The glib barbarian. No Drake. Drake. Drake his disguise. He's not like us. That was definitely not the glib barbarian. That was terrible. I hate you. That was awesome. I totally missed the joke. I hate you. Yeah, I hate that song so much. Anyway. If I get no response in another video.
SPEAKER_01We might have been waiting three episodes to be able to say that. As soon as I knew his alter ego was Drake. That's fair.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the like the like the artist whose song I have never heard a single one of. I'm sure you've heard it in commercials and shit.
SPEAKER_01Maybe. I don't know. Well, you've it's hard to avoid. The the song that you would have heard is the song calling him out for his crap. So now right, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So anyway, if no response for a short amount of time, I make sure that Elof and Ulf are setting up camp or hey, you can go help me try to rescue people. Elof and Ulf are happily will be happy to build a fire. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Because we're gonna need that when we get those chumps out of the fire. They're starting to uh collect wood nearby for the handful of survivors that right. If we find any survivors at all. We're only gonna look one. Okay, so that's your round one action. And then I start making my way. Okay. Especially if there's no response. Reduce your number by one. That's uh I thought it was a turn. Okay.
SPEAKER_01If you've rolled the dice, reduce your number by one. And I'm going to scream into the snow, but nobody's gonna hear it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Yeah. Whoa. Okay, and uh Eric, you also reduce your number by one. Let me know when you get to zero. That's when you dig yourself out. Serial. You look up and realize I can still see sunlight. In fact, well you climb out from under the seat, and you're standing on top of a platform amidst a sea of snow that appears to be as deep as your platform is high. You kind of feel like you're standing on the ground. You look around and there's here and there there are some horses, parts sticking out of snow. Whether it be hooves hooves, some are moving, some are not. There are pieces of wagon, sacks, barrels.
SPEAKER_01I have a feeling this isn't gonna make us help us be on time.
SPEAKER_02An occasional limb of a dwarf. Or make us any money. What do you do?
SPEAKER_03I'm not sure if there's much I can do. Is it snow hard packed?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03Well before you lose, if I jump out of the wagon, am I gonna disappear?
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, how are you testing that? Take a pull and plumb the depths. Are you gonna jump in? What are you doing?
SPEAKER_03Use my staff and poke at it.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Check around the wagon, see where it's actually.
SPEAKER_02Your staff. What is that? Three feet long?
SPEAKER_03I only need the snow's my level. I'm making sure that if I step off the wagon, it's not gonna be above me.
SPEAKER_02I gotcha. It only needs to be as big as your staff then. Your three foot staff. Where you are, it appears to be about as deep as the wagon is high. Just maybe what, probably four portions. It took a little effort to get deep.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Like top layer's pretty powdery. Definitely gets more dense as you go down.
SPEAKER_03Move to the front and try to start digging out horses.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01So that's what you're doing. Alright. I'm not gonna say any avalanche facts because I don't want to help the G the DM out.
SPEAKER_02You mean like the likelihood of survival? Right. You mean the GM who used to go winter mountaineering?
SPEAKER_01And the fact that it basically turns to ice immediately.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm being kind. I know. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so uh just a few things since we're on the NPC turn. So you do see Stigir kind of pull his way out of the snow part way down the slope a bit. Looks like he got swept away and kind of wrapped around a tree. A little bloodied, but he seems to be conscious. And he's kind of clawing his way out of the snow there. Halvard is nowhere to be seen. No trace of him. Various wagon drivers. Some are still on the wagon, like in his case. Oh yeah, he is. And uh so as that's happening, it is very cold, the sky is very dark, and you're not quite sure how you're going to survive this Arctic night. But we'll have to find that out on the next episode of Retro Rollcast. This has been a Retro Rollcast production.
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